Rindas2mom: Rinda's Second Mom....

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Rinda's Second Mom....

Hello, I am Rinda's 2nd mom.
The names and places in this blog have been changed to protect the GUILTY, and NOT to embarrass the innocent. When I met my stepdaughter she was only seven years old. She said that it was "love at first sight" between she & I. Within months she asked me if she could call me "mom". Surprised but delighted, I told her yes that I would be honored, but that out of respect for her "Real Mom" I told her it would be best to call me her "Second Mom". That is how I became 2nd mom to Rinda. We became extremely bonded to each other. When kids at school asked her who I was, she proudly stated, "Oh that's my 2nd mom, she's really nice". As time went by, she began to ask me questions like "Do you promise to always be my 2nd mom even if you and my dad split up" I assured her that my commitment to her was permanent. I told her that nothing could ever come between us. I was wrong, oh so wrong. But back then I had no idea of the devastating force of parental alienation. Back then I had never heard of the term "parental alienation". I had no idea that over a course of time that parental alienation would destroy our lives, break our hearts and make happiness an unattainable goal in our home.

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A Summary of Events

1999-2001 Rinda, her dad & I had a very happy life together.We were very bonded as a family unit & enjoyed our time together. We lived, loved, laughed together. We had Spaghetti night on Wednesdays. We hung a photo of Rinda's mother in Rinda's bedroom. Rinda was an exceptional child. She was sweet, smart, funny and beautiful. She did not have a problem in the world. She was just a little girl that loved BOTH her mother and her father. She was a joy and blessing to our lives until Parental Alienation destroyed our relationship and destroyed her ability to love, trust and respect her Dad & I.

2001- 2010 Rinda's mother sent us official notice that she was relocating Rinda to the West Coast to live, which broke our hearts. We made the decison to move away solely based on that lie. Later, we discovered that her mother had moved her to a new school a few miles from her old school. We would have NEVER gave up our weekends with Rinda....NEVER...EVER. We began having "lunch visits" with Rinda every Thursday. Over the years we have had several lawyers, which were hired to "fix" the problem of being denied access to Rinda . When the judge ordered Access Facilitation to re-unite our family we were thrilled. When they refused to enforce the court order we were heart-broken again. Rinda was being told lies about us and about the situation BUT we never spoke against her mother, NEVER. We never spoke up to defend ourselves since we didn't want for Rinda to be put in the middle. Rinda was told to be afraid of us and that we would kidnap her and never let her see her mother again. She was told that we had abandoned her and moved away and had forgotten about her. She was also told that her dad NEVER paid child support, which was another lie. She was told that she didn't have dental insurance which was a lie also. During 4th, 5th and 6th grade, the only way we could see her was to have lunch at her school. The attorney said we shouldn't go back to her school until he got the situation worked out. I didn't see her face for all of 7th grade & by the last week 8th grade I decided to go against what the lawyer said. On 5-19-2006 I went to lunch during the last week of 8th grade. We took fotos, talked & laughed. She told me she loves me. She gave me her email address & we kept in touch for about 6 months, In Nov.2006, I went to have lunch with Rinda who was now in 9th grade. The school notified Rinda's mother & when they told Rinda her mother had been told of my visit, Rinda declined to see me....It was the first time ever that she EVER said she didn't want to see her Dad & I. That is when we learned that Rinda had kept our school lunch visits a secret from her mother since 2001. To this day, I have not seen Rinda's face since 5-19-2006. By 2007, Rinda began having problems at home and school. We have done everything in our power to help Rinda however, she and her mother have defied us at every turn. They have defied every court order and continue to do so.Her Dad has consulted with her school officials, her doctors and all the other professionals which had contact with Rinda & her problems. He had to push & push to get the school to file truancy after after she continually failed in school due to truancy. All the years we tried to get our visitation rights enforced, we were only asking the court to enforce the rights that we already had. On the advice of our most recent attorney we filed for full custody when Rinda was 16 years old. We were told that due to her poor attendance record, truancy, failure in school, legal problems as well as behavioral problems that we should be given the opportunity to intervene on Rinda's behalf, to get her back on the right track & hopefully salvage her high school career. Delay after delay, finally, a social study was ordered which proved EVERYTHING that we had been claiming for years to be TRUE. Rinda's life has been damaged due to PARENTAL ALIENATION, now, it is officially documented by the Family Court System for what ever that is worth. The social worker agrees that Rinda NEEDS to be reunited with her Dad, but....it's too late, since Family Court isn't set up to deal with situations such as ours. As a token, they ordered Rinda to attend counseling with her Dad, but she continues to defy that court order as well (she only attended 2 sessions) Now with her 18th birthday approaching, we have NO other (legal) recourse.....although no one will uphold the law and allow Rinda's Dad to exercise his rights as a father...he is being required to continue to pay child support which enables Rinda's downward spiral. After 4 yrs of high school Rinda will remain in 10th grade at the end of this school year, she should be graduating 6-8-2010. Her graduation date according to her school records is now 2012. In summary,"our" little girl was stolen from us, our heart have been held hostage since 2001, her childhood was hijacked and her life has been greatly damaged.

This is the bottom line......the system chewed us up and spit us out but the true victim of the system's failure is Rinda. Her life will never be the same. Our life will never be the same. What has been taken from her (and us) can never be replaced.

May God have mercy on our souls because no one else has shown us a single ounce of mercy. May God find a way to keep Rinda safe and somehow guide her life in a positive direction, because apparently it is now out of our hands !!!!

PARENTAL ALIENATION CASES SHOULD NOT BE IN FAMILY COURT THEY SHOULD BE DEALT WITH IN CRIMINAL COURT.