Thursday, July 29, 2010

Rinda....Our Warrior Princess



Rinda, this is you....our warrior princess. The foto was taken during the summer of 2000. I edited it today....That's what I did today instead of texting you or emailing you today on the 50th day since your 18th birthday, Fifty days since you became an adult and actually do have the right to choose to not allow us to be a part of your world.....Fifty days doesn't sound like much to you, I know, but it is an eternity to us....counting the 3302 days of your childhood was stolen from us and from you. That adds up to 3352 days since you walked through the door of our home. And that my dear is a damn long time. That is half of your lifetime and one fifth of mine.

The original version of this foto is one of my all-time favorite photos of you. The jungle print cloth which Grandma Betty made your outfit from is perfect for this foto with it's many bright colors. One of the things I love about this foto is that you came up with the idea all on your own...you put the feathers in your hair and you made your spear all on your own with a quartz crystal rock that we got in Arkansas when we went camping on an island (remember we took our baby goat camping with us ?) One of the things I like about this foto is that you had to work sooo hard to look mean,fierce and angry like a warrior for this foto. In reality you were the sweetest,kindest,happiest, funniest eight year old girl on the planet. Being a warrior wasn't something in your future until your childhood got hijacked by parental alienation.

Over the past four years I've seen that you have "waged war" on many fronts. Now you are at war with yourself and many others. You've gone from being bullied to bullying others. Do the words "terroristic threatening" remind you of the hassles you've been involved in over the past few years. You were threatened so now you've learned to threaten others. I know your heart and you defend yourself sometimes to the extreme.I've seen you become an angry young woman who ends up in a hassle with different people in different places. Are you out looking for a fight? I've seen time after time you being involved in some fight or kind of an angry argument with other people including people your own age within your social circle. You've learned to defy other's authority to a point we worry about your safety. If I were given only five minutes to see you face to face, I would ask you "what will it take for you to be able to stop being a warrior and learn to live in peace with yourself, your friends and family as well as society in general???? " All the professionals haven't been able to answer this question "Why is Rinda so angry".....but I know the answer. I've always known the answer.....but my love you are going to have to ask yourself that question and answer it for yourself honestly before you will be able to overcome the issues that will continue to cause you problems in your future because those issues will affect you and the people you choose to share your life with. No matter what, we love you.....our little warrior princess !!!!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Words of Wisdom....

Good Morning Rinda !!!!

I wanted to share these words of wisdom with you. This quote came from someone that you used to love, trust and respect back when you used to love, trust and respect your Dad and I. I know my words no longer have any meaning to you, so I'm using this quote from an old friend of yours.


"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. I'll always be with you."

- Winnie the Pooh

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Promises....

Promises are easier made than they are kept. The bigger the promise, the harder it is to keep. Rinda, it has been 43 days since your 18th birthday and I have refrained from calling you, emailing you, texting you or sending you s card in the mail. It hasn't been easy either. I remind myself by re-reading the letter I wrote to you on your 18th birthday. I remind myself that you are a grown woman now and have the right to make your own decisions. I pray that they will be good ones.

Rinda, thinking back, I remember, how important promises always were to you. Within 3 months of starting to date your Dad, we were in the Drive Thru at McDonalds on B. Mound Rd and you suddenly became very serious and wanted your Dad and I to promise you that we would never break up. He stopped what he was doing and turned around to you and said he promised you that we would not break up. As soon as he did, you turned to me and I paused and started to tell you about how in life things happen that we can't predict to cause things to happen that we can't anticipate, but instead I looked you square in the eye and said that I too promised. I took that promise very seriously. And due to the things that we couldn't predict to happen, you were stolen from your Dad and I and have been alienated from us. That has put enormous stress on the relationship between your Dad and I but we have never broken up. We made that promise to you on Dec.2, 1999, back when you were seven years old and we have kept that promise for almost eleven years. Back then,you told me that you wished that your Dad & I would be like Billy & Motsey but I didn't know what you meant by that. You said that it meant "To stay together forever and to always stay happy". I told you that was exactly what we intended to do stay together....forever....stay....happy !!!!!

As of today, it has been 43 days since your 18th birthday. So, how are you liking being legally an adult? I also, know that as of today your boyfriend S has been gone for a month. I'm sure that there were many promises made between the two of you before he left to join the military. I'm sure the two of you have big plans for the future and if that is the best thing for you and your life, then, I wish you all the best. After all, you being happy and healthy, has always been what is most important to us. I'm surprised that given your family history that you DO believe in the whole "marriage and happily ever after" thing. I am glad to see that despite all that.... "hope" does live in your heart. Like I said earlier, promises are easier to make than they are to keep. The bigger the promise the harder it s to keep. And in general, the younger you are, the harder it is to keep the the promises made, especially in romantic relationships. It's a big ole world out there Rinda and you are just now at the beginning of that Yellow Brick Road. Please make sure that you know where you are going so that when you get there that it will be the right place for you.

Some promises made are actually better left unkept. In particular those promises are typically made due to poor judgement, based on less than accurate information or made out of anger or grief. All the times that you promised to never contact with us is a promise that should not be kept. Please don't stay away because you are too proud to contact us because in the past you emphatically stated that you have no space in your world for us. Try not to burn the bridges to your past for you may want to cross over them again someday ! But where ever you go and whatever you do there is one thing that remains constant and that is the unconditional love which your Dad and I have for you !!!!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

My Wish

Rinda.....this is the song that your dad dedicated to you. This is what we wish for you. Your Dad bought you this CD for you for Christmas in 2007. Remember ????