Rindas2mom: April 2009

Saturday, April 25, 2009

P.A. AWARENESS DAY

Remember today is Parental Awareness Day !

You might have heard that it is also Malaria Awareness Day, not to lessen the importance of that at all, as there are countless people affected by that disease.

However if you live in the U.S.A., chances are much more likely to personally know a person that is affected by Parental Alienation. Someone you work with, your neighbor, your friend.

Hopefully some day they can cancel the National Awareness Day when we are all set free from this "un-disease"......called Parental Alienation and focus on real diseases like malaria !

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Big Book

This is The Big Book !

This collection of paperwork has come from the past 8 years of living in the darkness of Parental Alienation. It's a longgggg sadddd story ! The documentation shows so much of what has transpired since 2001. But it does not show the toll taken on the lives of the people involved in this situation.

Half of Rinda' s life has occurred since 2001. It has aged my husband and I beyond our years and I'm sure that it has taken a toll on the Alienating Parent, Rinda's mom. When a battle like this occurs NO ONE WINS.....we all lose.

We all lose more than we can ever regain. I guess that is one of the cruel jokes played on all of us that are affected by P.A.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Attorney: A Four Letter Word ????

Let me ask you, IS the word, attorney a four letter word in your house? How about the word, lawyer?

At our house it is !
We just refer to it as the A-word or the L-word. The very mention of the Family Court System and it's many players causes the tension level to rise in our home. We weren't always this way. My husband used to the be poster boy for "trusting the system". He truly believed that if you do the right thing and you follow all the rules that it will all work out. It's been a hard lesson for him to learn. At this stage, after 8 years, he is now what I consider to be a non-believer regarding the whole legal system. He has lost all hope that there is an attorney/lawyer out there that will actually care about our daughter's life and future. He no longer believes in the system.

I, on the other hand NEVER DID..... My background gave me early experiences to understand the failure of the family court system to rule in the best interest of the child. I was the one 8 years ago that said that ATTORNEY IS A FOUR LETTER WORD....one of the most offensive, vulgar words in the dictionary. But as life has a funny way of switching things around, I am now on a major mission to find the RIGHT ONE.....attorney that is. I know that there HAS TO BE a person that is practicing law in the State of Texas that CAN and WILL help us. So, I've been researching, calling, emailing and setting up appointments with attorneys in the city in which our daughter lives. Being out of state, does make it a bit more challenging but by no means impossible.

After spending three days interviewing attorneys in the city. I am exhausted. Driving back home, I had a lot of time to think about it. I wanted to narrow it down to the best 3 so that my husband can re-interview the final three to pick one. Unfortunately I couldn't even pick three that I thought MIGHT BE THE ONE. I have only two lined up for him to see. Hopefully one of those two WILL BE THE ONE.

AGAIN, Anyone with any suggestions for an attorney in the Dallas/Ft.Worth area ????

This will be our final round....We plan to put all our chips on one number, spin the wheel and let it ride...... Wish us luck, I am sure that we will need it.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

One Year Later...... "FOURTEEN MONTHS"

It's been exactly one year since I first posted on Rindas2mom blog. I can't fully explain why, after making the original post I decided to "go private again" and go back to keeping my journal instead of posting it on the blog. Many factors influenced my decision, however, I'm back and I ready to tell our whole, long, sad, excruciating story.

TODAY...... is April 9, 2009 and we are STILL trying to legally intervene while my stepdaughter's life continues to spiral out of control. This is my second trip to the city this year. I am on a shopping spree....shopping for ANOTHER attorney. I carry with me a EXTRA LARGE 3 ring binder stuffed full of documents and information relating to this case. I've found that consulting with 2 or 3 lawyers a day and having to re-tell the same sad story over and over IS TOTALLY EXHAUSTING, physically and mentally.

TODAY.....April 9, 2009 is exactly FOURTEEN MONTHS ( 1 4 M O N T H S ) until Rinda will turn 18 years old. As we know all too well, that when she turns 18 that we will no longer be able to LEGALLY INTERVENE.

With only 14 months left of her "childhood" we have now missed 1/2 ( half) of her life. Half of her entire life has been spent in the darkness of parental alienation. If you know anything about the effects of PA, then you realize that if nothing changes, that she will still be dealing with the effects of this issue long after her Dad and I are dead and gone. We will never give up, but time is running out for our legal intervention.

IF YOU CAN RECOMMEND AN ATTORNEY IN THE DALLAS\FT. WORTH METRO AREA THAT SPECIALIZES IN CASES OF PARENTAL ALIENATION..........please let me know. Also good luck to you and your loved ones !

A Summary of Events

1999-2001 Rinda, her dad & I had a very happy life together.We were very bonded as a family unit & enjoyed our time together. We lived, loved, laughed together. We had Spaghetti night on Wednesdays. We hung a photo of Rinda's mother in Rinda's bedroom. Rinda was an exceptional child. She was sweet, smart, funny and beautiful. She did not have a problem in the world. She was just a little girl that loved BOTH her mother and her father. She was a joy and blessing to our lives until Parental Alienation destroyed our relationship and destroyed her ability to love, trust and respect her Dad & I.

2001- 2010 Rinda's mother sent us official notice that she was relocating Rinda to the West Coast to live, which broke our hearts. We made the decison to move away solely based on that lie. Later, we discovered that her mother had moved her to a new school a few miles from her old school. We would have NEVER gave up our weekends with Rinda....NEVER...EVER. We began having "lunch visits" with Rinda every Thursday. Over the years we have had several lawyers, which were hired to "fix" the problem of being denied access to Rinda . When the judge ordered Access Facilitation to re-unite our family we were thrilled. When they refused to enforce the court order we were heart-broken again. Rinda was being told lies about us and about the situation BUT we never spoke against her mother, NEVER. We never spoke up to defend ourselves since we didn't want for Rinda to be put in the middle. Rinda was told to be afraid of us and that we would kidnap her and never let her see her mother again. She was told that we had abandoned her and moved away and had forgotten about her. She was also told that her dad NEVER paid child support, which was another lie. She was told that she didn't have dental insurance which was a lie also. During 4th, 5th and 6th grade, the only way we could see her was to have lunch at her school. The attorney said we shouldn't go back to her school until he got the situation worked out. I didn't see her face for all of 7th grade & by the last week 8th grade I decided to go against what the lawyer said. On 5-19-2006 I went to lunch during the last week of 8th grade. We took fotos, talked & laughed. She told me she loves me. She gave me her email address & we kept in touch for about 6 months, In Nov.2006, I went to have lunch with Rinda who was now in 9th grade. The school notified Rinda's mother & when they told Rinda her mother had been told of my visit, Rinda declined to see me....It was the first time ever that she EVER said she didn't want to see her Dad & I. That is when we learned that Rinda had kept our school lunch visits a secret from her mother since 2001. To this day, I have not seen Rinda's face since 5-19-2006. By 2007, Rinda began having problems at home and school. We have done everything in our power to help Rinda however, she and her mother have defied us at every turn. They have defied every court order and continue to do so.Her Dad has consulted with her school officials, her doctors and all the other professionals which had contact with Rinda & her problems. He had to push & push to get the school to file truancy after after she continually failed in school due to truancy. All the years we tried to get our visitation rights enforced, we were only asking the court to enforce the rights that we already had. On the advice of our most recent attorney we filed for full custody when Rinda was 16 years old. We were told that due to her poor attendance record, truancy, failure in school, legal problems as well as behavioral problems that we should be given the opportunity to intervene on Rinda's behalf, to get her back on the right track & hopefully salvage her high school career. Delay after delay, finally, a social study was ordered which proved EVERYTHING that we had been claiming for years to be TRUE. Rinda's life has been damaged due to PARENTAL ALIENATION, now, it is officially documented by the Family Court System for what ever that is worth. The social worker agrees that Rinda NEEDS to be reunited with her Dad, but....it's too late, since Family Court isn't set up to deal with situations such as ours. As a token, they ordered Rinda to attend counseling with her Dad, but she continues to defy that court order as well (she only attended 2 sessions) Now with her 18th birthday approaching, we have NO other (legal) recourse.....although no one will uphold the law and allow Rinda's Dad to exercise his rights as a father...he is being required to continue to pay child support which enables Rinda's downward spiral. After 4 yrs of high school Rinda will remain in 10th grade at the end of this school year, she should be graduating 6-8-2010. Her graduation date according to her school records is now 2012. In summary,"our" little girl was stolen from us, our heart have been held hostage since 2001, her childhood was hijacked and her life has been greatly damaged.

This is the bottom line......the system chewed us up and spit us out but the true victim of the system's failure is Rinda. Her life will never be the same. Our life will never be the same. What has been taken from her (and us) can never be replaced.

May God have mercy on our souls because no one else has shown us a single ounce of mercy. May God find a way to keep Rinda safe and somehow guide her life in a positive direction, because apparently it is now out of our hands !!!!

PARENTAL ALIENATION CASES SHOULD NOT BE IN FAMILY COURT THEY SHOULD BE DEALT WITH IN CRIMINAL COURT.